already?

today is my sister's 18th birthday and i can not believe she's already that old.  i remember running around the house together singing disney songs, or even just the days when she was shorter than me.  haha!  either way, i hope she has a wonderful day.

happy birthday little sister!  i love you!

how sad.

how can i tell people i was born and raised and proud to be from chicago, when i was shivering tonight when i was walking me dog?? :(  i'm disappointed in myself.

heartwood hall.

i just got home from visiting and meeting with the manager at the reception hall josh and i picked for our wedding.  heartwood hall at twin oaks country inn in wilmot, wi.  absolutely perfect! i love it so much and am getting so much more excited.  only 199 more days!  we're past the 200 mark.  eek!

a couple weeks ago we had to take our foccus evaluation for our church.  it gives us a better idea about where we are as a couple so we can tackle all the hard issue before we're married.  sounds interesting but we haven't heard from anyone since.  our next step is to talk to a trained couple and they will guide us through the discussions.  hopefully we hear from them soon.  i'd like to get this show on the road.

i'm hoping to meet with my bridesmaids soon so they can be fitted for their dresses.  i'm so excited that i found a dress that all the girls say they love too.  i already have my invitations.  i'm going to be printing them myself.  we saved a ton of money that way.  we went to michael's and bought their special collection invitations and took advantage of their 50% and 40% off coupons. we already have a photographer.  it's one of our good friends we met while in florida.  she does wonderful work.  if she had a website i'd put of a link and give her credit but i think it's under construction. 

overall i think the wedding is coming along pretty well.  i'm just seem so clueless.  we're at about six and a half months though...  time to step it up!

finally.

wow! it's august 25th already? i can't believe how fast time flies. i've been home from florida for almost two months and i finally have a possible job. today both employers (home depot and amcore) that i had interviews with already called me to set up second interviews. i have one tomorrow at six in the evening and one on friday morning at 11. sooooo pumped. i pray for the the bank one, but i guess home depot would at least be a pay check till i found something else.

this summer is been great. again, i can't believe it's almost over. the beginning of the summer josh and i were still in florida. he had lots of studying to do for his medical board exams so i took that time to try to pack and do some last minute things. we left bradenton on the 26th of june and drove straight through the night, only stopping for a couple hours worth of sleep somewhere just outside of macon, georgia. after lots of coffee and some mcdonald's breakfast we were off again. i really love road trips, but when they are rushed like the last couple trips we've taken to illinois and back, they are just plain annoying.

but we made it home late on the 27th of june and we've taken advantage of as much as we could. taste of chicago, gino's east pizzeria, family parties, my family's pool, friend's houses and cabins. overall i'd say successful. :)

i'm looking forward to autumn. i haven't really felt that type of relaxing cool weather in a few years. (and at least josh, petey and i will have a gradual change into the dreadful winter!) i hope to go to the richardson cornmaze soon. such an awesome place and for anyone who doesn't know anything about it - click here! and if you're anywhere in the area i highly recommend it! so much fun for all ages (and, no, i'm not just saying that because i used to work/practically live there. it's tons of fun!)

if anyone would like to get together please let me know! i haven't had a chance to see everyone yet but would love to set something up.

hope everyone enjoys that last bit of summer!

workin' it out.

i have been SO good this week about working out and keeping an eye on what i'm eating. and i feel GREAT!

my sister and i started a pact. workout at least 3 times a week and keep track of what we're eating. anyone who slips up more than twice with the food or working out within a week has to put in a dollar. we aren't sure what determines a "winner" in this pact, but we'll think of something. whoever "wins" gets the money :)

we also started our own blog to show each other what we're eating and how we're doing in the workouts. it's quite fun and very inspirational to use the blog.

i ended up buying the Wii Fit game and board. and also the new game by EA Sports called Active. it is awesome. i'm someone who needs something or someone to tell me what i'm supposed to be doing. i'm really quite clueless when it comes to working out. in grade school and high school i was on the sports teams all the time, so you really didn't need a set workout plan. now i have a virtual personal trainer right here at home. :)

if you can afford it, i'd say buy it. it's so much fun!

Yoga

So I tried yoga for the first time today. Just a quick morning yoga, and I have to say- I like it. I never thought I would but I can see how it could be a good start to you day. I might have to make a habit of it. :)




-- Post From My iPhone

bittersweet.

I'm torn when someone asks me if I'm looking forward to moving back to Illinois.

Uploaded by www.cellspin.net

within minutes.

I haven't been on here in over a month. We don't have the Internet and only have our iPhones to check our basic stuff. But I was in the mood for a little post today.

It truly amazes me how quickly things can change, even if it's something as small as your mood.

Today I woke up in one of the most sad moods I've been in for a while. I felt like not one thing could change it. My expectation for the day was pure crap. But then Josh came home. A bouquet of flowers and lunch in hand he made it all go away without even knowing that I needed it.

And it seems so silly to be worrying about everything that was going through my head. Maybe it's all part of being a woman. Yuck! Hehe!

25.

So there's this "Random 25" thing going around Facebook recently. For those who don't know what it is, you're supposed to name 25 random things about you. Could be ANYTING. It's a nice way to tell others about you, but actually found it quite therapeutic. I might do another one too. I learned a lot about myself.


1. I got my first dog when I was 23 and he's the best little thing in the world! He was an anniversary present from Josh when we moved down to Florida.

2. I've lived in Florida two separate times. One, for the Disney College Program in 2005. And two, July 2007 to now for Josh's medical school.

3. My family members are my best friends.

4. I never finished college. I have 3 years done, but was too emotionally unhealthy from my relationship at the time to finish my senior year.

5. When I was nine and my parents told me we were moving to Spring Grove, I was so determined never to leave Hoffman Estates that I told them I would live with the people that bought our house. I was convinced it was going to happen.

6. I'm going to marry the man that completes me. I couldn't be happier!

7. I discovered my love for cooking when I officially moved out of my parents' house.

8. I want to go back to school so bad but I can't afford it or have the time right now. I want to be a medical assistant, a massage therapist, a hair dresser or all of the above.

9. My college years were the WORST and wasn't the "time of my life" like everyone says it's should be.

10. I can play the piano, the clarinet, and the saxophone.

11. I'm looking forward to being a wife and a mom. And I hope to be the best!

12. I have a tattoo of a butterfly on my lower back. I got it with my first and best friend from college when we went to Summerfest in Milwaukee to see Ben Folds. We got it done in a trailer outside the fair grounds. I swear it was clean!

13. I'd rather eat something salty than sweet.

14. You probably won't find a batch of pictures of me without my tongue sticking out. And I've recently found out, after taking my brother out for his 21st, that it runs in the family.

15. I never got along with my parents in high school and I can now tell them anything.

16. My sister and I are exactly the same person except physically. We look NOTHING alike.

17. I can't go to bed at night without getting a kiss from Josh.

18. I have very dramatic emotions. When I'm happy, I'm ecstatic. When I'm sad, I'm depressed. There seems to be no middle ground with me.

19. I'm really bad at keeping in touch with people. No one should ever take it personally.

20. I never received a detention in school.

21. I have had many nicknames in my time. Kimberbutt, Kimber-Q, Princess, Bug, Honey Bun, KDog, Kimmi Kong, Homie K, and many more ... ...

22. One of the best days of my life was August 23, 2006. Not only was it the day I met Josh, it was the first time in five years I felt free of people who kept me down for so long. I felt like me.

23. I feel lost when I don't have my cell phone with me.

24. My hair hasn't been it's natural color since I was 14, until just yesterday.

25. I have a fear of hospitals, but would love to work in one.

2009.

so i've never done this before, but something told me that i should. i think it's time that i make a list of goals, wishes, ideas, etc. for the year ahead. some things i'd like to get done or what i expect out of myself. i'll be adding to this often. so here we go: (in no particular order.)

bring it on 2009!

.. finish a breast cancer walk, preferably the susan g. komen 3 day walk in chicago in august.
.. make a decision on my career and find that job or go back to school to finish up.
.. get back into shape.
.. have fun planning our wedding (one year to go!!)
.. be better at keeping in touch with people.
.. save money.
.. inspire people.

rambles.

i don't know why but people's words and actions really effect me. and i mean REALLY effect me. so much that i sometimes can't sleep at night. the way people look at me, the way they say things - or not say things. i wish it wouldn't. i can sometimes feel my blood boil, or it physically feels like my heart is breaking. it puts me in such a horrible slump i feel like i'm never going to get out of it.

and i'm there right now.

i feel like some people just don't care about ANYone. or no one else really LISTENS to other people. and it truly breaks my heart. i wish people would be more compassionate and just plain polite. i guess i shouldn't wait around though. i thought i was making good friends here, but they've all just turned there backs, and why? i'll never know.

ugh.

i want to help people.

so i've done some serious thinking lately and i've decided that i'm done SERVING people. i want to HELP people. i used to think customer service was help for the people, but not lately. i've had my eyes opened and the majority of people don't appreciate the employees that work in the retail world. i used to always bite my tongue and brush off the rude remarks, but i'm getting to my breaking point. now, i'm not naive. i know other professions are hard and get the complaints and whatnot, but i don't feel that retail HELPS anyone. i want to make a difference in people's lives. whether it's massage therapy, nursing, teaching or even cosmetology (all things i've been considering), i think i will get much more satisfaction and feel a lot more positive than i do about the retail world. i can't wait to go back to school and start down a career path i am going to love and be proud of.

... no what is that career path going to be??

that's the toughest question. any ideas? :)

so i've had a couple days to relax. finally. this retail holiday season is already taking a toll on me and it's only the fourth of december. less than a month left is all i have to keep telling myself. in the past month this store has lost so many employees. and to be honest, i don't blame them for leaving. it's not the worst job in the world; there are still some great people working there. but when you walk in you can just feel your blood pressure go through the roof. i know if josh and i didn't depend on my paychecks every month that i would really contemplate quitting. but for now, i'm going to tough it out.

i wish whoever reads this blog, happy holidays! keep the people you love close. it's a time to be thankful for all your gifts. :)

depressing.

so i haven't written in this thing for quite sometime now. i went through my old posts and, boy, was i a sad sad person. i think it's time i should try to write more upbeat things. it's not like anyone reads my blog. actually, i'm 100% sure NO one reads my blog. but still- my goal from now on will be to try to have more of a positive feel to this thing. [key word: try.] :)

dick's.

it still holds true. i hate my job. the work ethic of most of the people i work with is pitiful and just damn annoying! everyone takes short cuts and takes the easy way out. why? is it really that hard to do the right thing and make things look good?

i thank my parents for instilling the mindset i have about work. you get paid to do a certain job. you put in 100% and you do it right. florida's way of doing it makes no sense to me. and no one seems to take pride in their work. the work someone does is a reflection of them. why doesn't anyone get that? they're just making themselves look even worse than they already are!

on the 16th of april it will be one year since i started working for dick's sporting goods. part of me thinks it's time to move on to something better. i'm stuck in a deadend job.

one more thing.

there's one more thing i'd like to vent about.

how is it that there are some people in my family that consistently forget about me? there is only one day out of the year that i can truly call mine, and year after year i mean nothing to some people. it's really sad that it's always the same people.

you're only my family because we share blood. deep down i don't considering you family because i feel no love from you. i'm sorry i don't kiss your ass, but i have been nothing but respectful. i never thought i learned how to love from you, but in actuality i did... i learned to do the complete opposite of what you have EVER shown me!

i hate you for hurting me. and i hate me for letting you.

does anyone really read this?
eh. who cares.

i have another day off from work. another boring, worthless day. days off are supposed to be fun and productive. but because i am forced to live in silence, i can't get anything done. or relax and watch a movie. or even listen to music.

ick.

why did i do this? what am i getting out of being here? what's the benifit for me?

hurt. again.

it's been over two months since i've written in this thing, so i think it's about time.

i don't think i've ever felt so lonely in my life. i never thought this "journey" i decided to take would take such a toll on me. i wonder everyday if i made the right decision about moving here. i hate this place. i hate everything about it. i'd rather be stuck in the snow right now then go to the beach with someone who looks straight through me. i don't feel appreciated. i "never" clean up the kitchen. the apartment is a mess because I "never" clean up after myself. i should get stuff done after work because my job isn't as hard as your schooling is. screw you! there are times i can honestly say that i hate you!

what i'm doing for you means nothing. you say you understand but i promise you - you haven't got a clue!

home sweet home.

i just wanted to express to whoever the hell reads this thing [probably nobody] just how excited i am to be traveling back to the grove in illinois in roughly 11 or 12 days, depending how you look at it. i hate it in this state and i want this little "journey" to end. the people are awful and rude. the weather never changes. i need something different.

we [josh and i] have only been here for five months and i have about a year and a half left [guaranteed]. so basically - shoot me now.

grew some balls.

so i finally "grew some balls" and confronted the person that was hurting me. (refer to last post) they said sorry, i said sorry. but after i got off the phone, something didn't feel right. no genuine feelings where passed between us. i could just tell. we talked because we thought we HAD to talk. now, i know this person and i have only been friends through college. so it hasn't been that long at all. but i've always believed in the saying, "quality over quantity." and i always thought we spent some quality time together. shared some laughs, drank some wine, cried over boys. we were there for eachother. but i've closed that chapter in my life.

i'm glad i picked up that phone and confronted someone today. it's taught me that nothing beats the friends you can grow up seperately, but never grow apart from. i cherish everyone of of them.

i thank all of those friends. i hope you know who you are.